"Gateau Mocha: The Man Behind the Muscles" by Sara Jaye I actually wrote this nearly a month ago. It was originally just a blurb of Gateau-angst I came up with cause I was bored and felt like writing something ^_^;;; But after awhile, I figured it'd be a good fic on its own. I apologize in advance for making Gateau so angsty. ^^;;; I know it isn't completely OOC and out of the question that he'd angst, especially in the manga. But I probably went overboard in this fic, and for that I'm sorry. ^^;; [Sorcerer Hunters belongs to Rei Omishi and Satoru Akahori, I'm just borrowing the characters for awhile. This fic contains lots of angst, and strong shounen ai/yaoi themes, so if you're not comfortable with that, don't read any further.] ~ I love him. Yeah, I admit it, I'm comfortable saying it out loud. I love him. I love Marron Glacé. Why is that so hard to believe? Yeah, I've flirted with women, found em attractive. But I find Marron attractive and flirt with him on a daily basis! Maybe that's it, with all my flexing and perverted innuendoes and "LOOK AT MEEE!!" it's hard to take me seriously about anything, let alone saying I love Marron. Right? Well, I love Marron. I didn't realize it till just recently, but...yeah, I love him. How can I NOT love Marron? He's not only more beautiful than any woman I've ever seen, he's intelligent, he's sensitive...who WOULDN'T love him? I know he's not perfect, of course-most of the time he's way too quiet, he's too serious for a guy his age. He's 16 going on 30, as the expression goes. And he can be a little obsessive about his brother. But the fact that he's not perfect makes me love him even more...the fact that he's human. The fact that he's Marron. I love Marron. I love him so much it almost physically hurts. Why? Because he doesn't even know how I feel about him. And if I told him, he wouldn't believe me. Who would believe me? Gateau Mocha, the muscle- bound showoff, saying he LOVED someone? That's as likely as Chocolat not smacking Carrot around for looking at other women. Besides, Marron doesn't seem like he would return my feelings anyway...he isn't interested in love, it seems. Gotta wonder why, though. Maybe because he's sheltered-after all, the only love he knew growing up was family love. Maybe he's just content to be sheltered by his older brother and their family love and not venture outside that shell. Or maybe it's because he's seen what happens to his brother when HE ventures into that world. Carrot gets rejected by every girl he asks out, and Marron would rather not deal with that. Hey, books and magic aren't the only thing he's smart at! Maybe...he'd rather focus on studying his magic than get involved with romance. Yeah...that's probably it. He doesn't seem like the sheltered type, and who in their right mind would reject Marron? Doesn't make it hurt any less, though. Knowing Marron will probably never feel the same way I feel for him. It's just the same, I guess. Why would someone as smart as Marron see ME that way? Why would anyone? I feel so alone, even when I'm with the others. They're all so close! Carrot, Marron, Tira and Chocolat all grew up together, and I'm just some guy who works with em. Yeah, Chocolat WAS the one who inspired me to become a Sorcerer Hunter after Eclair was kidnapped...but still...it's hard, being with them and feeling like the odd man out...sometimes I feel like I don't really belong. But they do care about me and I know I belong. So I feel like I'm an idiot for thinking like that. Nobody ever seems to take me seriously. Maybe it's my fault, because I'm always showing off and goofing around...when it comes to my job as a Sorcerer Hunter, though, I'm as serious as anything. The only thing on my mind is protecting the people I care about and avenging my parents...and saving my sister. But it's not like I go out of my way to talk about this. I just don't like telling people about my problems, I guess...I don't want anyone to worry about me. Because of this, I'm never taken seriously and all people see is my muscles. It's not like I'm not PROUD of my form, though. I know I have beautiful muscles! They draw huge crowds of girls at the beach, I can chop wood with my bare hands, I look good in a thong...I flex because I'm proud of the way I look! Who wouldn't if they had my body? But sometimes I wonder, what good is any of that? What good is it to be strong and handsome when in the end, that's all you are to anyone? No one ever seems to take me seriously. They don't seem to think that I have an actual personality under all these muscles, that I have feelings...they'd be surprised if they knew I felt like this, too. "Why are you so upset, Gateau? You have MUSCLES!". Yeah...MUSCLES. They're my identity. But lately they've been more of a curse to me than a blessing. I'd gladly give up my form if it would mean people would take me seriously... That Marron would take me seriously. It's strange...I've had a few crushes before. I was attracted to Tira when I first met her, and I still think she's beautiful. And then there was the thing with Luriko at the casino, but it was just...infatuation, I guess. But Marron is more than just a pretty face. None of the feelings I've had for other women can compare to my feelings for Marron. He's beautiful in every sense of the word. And as weird as this sounds, I...I don't know if I could ever feel this way about anyone else. I can't imagine loving anyone else this much. No matter how hard I tried, I would only see Marron. Maybe I'm being dramatic. After all, I'm still pretty young...only 18. Maybe if I just gave it some time...maybe... No. I can't. I'll never love anyone else. How can I? No one else is like Marron. ~End~ DAMN! This is the 3rd fic in a row I finished, and the second one I finished in the same day! O_o It's almost scary...but hey, I'm not complaining! XD Again, I apologize for making Gateau so angsty...while I believe he would angst over his parents and sister and his feelings for Marron, and feel sorta left out among the Misu Sisters and the Glacé brothers, I don't think he would get THIS angsty about it. ^^;; But I was just writing whatever came to mind at the time...I wasn't feeling angsty myself, but I'd been roleplaying with Tabichan and Gateau was depressed cause of his feelings for Marron...and this kinda came about. ^_^;; Poor Gateau, I need to write another fic where he gets to be with Marron...^_^; Ah, well...this story came out all right, I guess.