Author:  pulsar (pulsar03@juno.com)
Title:  Tired of Sex
Category:  Humor
Warnings: References to 4xjust about everyone, semi-1+2, 4+3, and 9+6,
semi-spoilers for both Duo's and Wufei's ep. 0
Archive:  The Yaoi Collection (www.yaoicollection.com) and Black Ice 
(www.fortunecity.com/athena/nightingale/236)  If anyone else wants to 
archive my stuff, just ask me.
Disclaimer:  GW is not mine.  Neither is the song Tired of Sex (which is
by Weezer)
Author's notes:  This is for my wonderful toilet duckie (inside joke!)
Simon, who has been just about _begging_ me to write this.  This was beta
read by Rayamon.  Thankies Raya!  BTW, the lyrics have been altered a
bit.  I'll note the changes at the bottom.  Lyrics are not indented.  The
story is.  Everybody clear on this?  Okay!  On with the fic!




        War, even when one is not directly involved in it, is never
pretty or fun. There is death and destruction, and even if you haven’t
seen it firsthand, it can still depress the hell out of you. And if the
deaths of the innocent and guilty alike can trouble civilians, imagine
what it does to the soldiers themselves. War is full of pain and loss.
And in situations of war, people must grasp for whatever small happiness
they can find. And what greater bliss can there be than forgetting for a
while?

        Quatre walks onstage, wondering if he has the guts to go through
with it.  "I don’t like karaoke bars… I can’t believe I actually
suggested we all go to one! I mean, we all needed the break, but karaoke?
What the hell was I thinking?"

        "Take it off!" someone screams. Judging by Heero’s glare, it must
have been Duo. Quatre blushes lightly and begins to sing.

"I'm tired
So tired
I'm tired of having sex (so tired)"

        Duo nudges Trowa.  "Wore him out, eh?" he asks slyly, winking. 
Trowa remains silent.

"I'm spread
So thin
I don't know who I am (who I am)
Monday night I'm making Meiran"

        Wufei’s eyes widen.  "You twisted bastard, she’s DEAD!!!"  Wufei
leaps up from his seat, intending to show Quatre how painful justice can
be.

        "Chill, Wu!  He didn’t mean it!  I mean, this is Quatre.  I doubt
he’s a necrophile," Duo soothes.  Wufei sits back down, but continues to
glare at Quatre.

"Tuesday night I'm making Sister Helen"

        Duo leaps up from the table, intent on killing Quatre.  Heero
restrains him.  "What happened to ‘he didn’t mean it!’, Duo?" Wufei
taunts.  Duo glares at him.

"Wednesday night I'm making Catherine"

        Trowa’s eyes widen considerably.

"Oh why can't I be making love come true?
Whoa
I'm beat
Beet red
Ashamed of what I said (what I said)
I'm sorry
Here I go
I know that I'll resent it but I can't say no (say no)
Thursday night I'm making Heero"

        Everyone looks at Heero in shock.  Heero rewards their stares
with a death-glare.

"Friday night I'm making Duo"

        Everyone looks at Duo, whose jaw hits the floor.  Duo sputters. 
"WHAT?!!"

"Saturday night I'm making Milliardo"

        Noin throws an empty beer bottle at Quatre.  "Hussy!"  Quatre
ducks the bottle and continues singing, looking meaningfully at Trowa.

"So why can't I be making love come true?
Tonight I'm down on my knees
Tonight I'm begging you please
Tonight tonight please
So why can't I be making love come true?"

        After the song, Quatre goes back to the table.  "So what did you
guys think?"  Wufei is trying to keep from reaching for his katana.   
Duo glares at him and grips his bottle so tightly it shatters.  Everyone
else is speechless.  "Well?" Quatre asks.

        "Little one," Trowa begins quietly, "did you really have sex with
my sister?"

        Quatre sweatdrops.


The End.


Okay, the actual names in the song are:  Jen, Lyn, Catherine (This is why
I chose to do this songfic!  Catherine's already in it!), Denise,
Sharise, Louise.  If you sing the song with the GW names, it won't quite
fit perfectly, but it's close enough for me!  If you've never heard the
song, download it somewhere or buy their Pinkerton album.  I highly
reccomend it.

So what did you all think?

-pulsar