A Collection of Limericks

Author:  pulsar (pulsar03@juno.com)
Archive:  The Yaoi Collection (www.yaoicollection.com), Black
Ice (www.fortunecity.com/athena/nightingale/236), and Yummy Yummy Yaoi! 
A Buffet of Bishounen! (http://simon_the_duck.tripod.com/Yaoi)   If
anyone else wants to archive my stuff, just ask me.
Disclaimer:  GW is not mine.



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Title:  Celebrating Duo in Drag
Warnings: Duo in drag, groping, yaoi
Author's notes:  Okay, well, I made a deal with Ais... I told her if she
posted more of Nightwalker, I'd write her a limerick and I suggested the
theme of Duo in drag.  And... well, I didn't write her a limerick about
Duo in drag.  ...I wrote her three.  Enjoy!

~*~

One day Duo started to brag
He'd look sexy even in drag.
In a dress of pea green
He looked sexy indeed.
Yes, he's one tasty transvestite fag.

~*~

"In order to be a success,
One always must dress to impress."
The quote he misread,
The others turned red
As Duo showed them his new dress.

~*~

In a dress Duo Maxwell looked fly.
To grab his butt, all men did try.
They were quite surprised
When their hands reached his thighs
To discover that Duo's a guy.



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Title:  even more untitled limericks  (I'm a limerick machine!!!)
Warnings: Crossdressing, nakedness, thongs, masturbation.  Y'know, my
usual fare.  Oh, and a semi-spoiler for Wufei's ep. 0 (I make a tiny
reference to Meiran.)  Surprisingly, there is no real yaoi, though I
suppose Duo ripping off his underwear in front of Quatre might count for
something.
Author's notes:  More limericks, 'cause I was bored and REALLY excited
about not bombing my physics test.  My friend Erin suggested I do some
limericks about Wufei, so there's a couple about him.  There's also some
random pervertedness.  Enjoy, and let me know what you thought!

~*~

Chang Wufei often would bitch
About how much his mission garb itched.
He changed clothes and was curt
When asked, "Why a skirt?"
"'Cause I'm so well-hung no pants will fit!"

~*~

"In order to wear a C-cup,
The bra you choose first must be stuffed."
Following Duo's advice,
The boys looked quite nice
... But they'd look better still in he buff.

~*~

He put ice on his poor injured penis
While muttering about injustice.
One who values his life
Should not tell his wife
That she is a lousy seductress.

~*~

Duo likes to innovate.
He creates new ways to masturbate.
In bed he's an artist,
To finish from start it's
Enough to make you salivate.

~*~

"My panties are chafing my schlong!"
Duo ripped off his tight, binding thong.
If flew into the tea,
Which Quatre did see.
He screamed, "Oh no, not in my oolong!"



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Title:  Limericks for the winners!!!
Category:  Humor
Warnings: Yaoi (all sorts of weird kinky heero/duo-ness), role-play,
bondage, cross-dressing (oh, now _there's_ a big surprise, pulsar writing
about men in drag...  ^_~), and just plain absurdity
Author's notes:  I wrote these for the winners of my limerick contest. 
Mair, Zuci, ryu chan, Ais, and Ely, thank you for entering the contest! 
There's also a limerick in here I wrote for my friend Simon, even though
she didn't enter the contest, because she wanted to enter, but she wasn't
eligible 'cause I had already told her the answer.  Anyway, I hope
everyone likes these!  Winners, thanks again for entering, and let me
know if you like your prize!  And ryu, since you gave me all those great
suggestions, I'm working on more limericks using your ideas.  And if
anybody else has a limerick request, I'd be more than happy to see what I
can do, though I can't promise anything.

~*~

For Mair:

KINKY BONDAGE ROLE-PLAY 2+1

Duo'll drive Heero insane
With lots of kinky role-play.
He'll tie him down
And dress up as a clown...
They'll have circus sex on his birthday!

~*~

For Zuci:

NAUGHTY AND NICE 1X2

Mothers shielded their poor children's eyes
So they wouldn't see two groping guys.
All the homophobes screamed
At the naughty, sick fiends...
Seems to me, "naughty" can be quite nice...

~*~

For ryu chan:  

CAREBEARS

"That's the dumbest idea you've had!
...And I thought the clown sex was bad!
But this is much worse!
Dating you is a curse!"
"Dammit, Heero, the bear's _Grumpy_, not Mad!"

~*~

For Ais:  

OF ALL DANCES...

"Wufei, you look so damn gay!"
"Shut up of I'll cut off your braid!
Warriors must have grace
As well as great strength!"
"Of all dances, Wufei, why _ballet_?!"

~*~

For Ely:

CROSSDRESSING

"Why am I always the one in a dress?
I'm as manly as all of the rest!"
Duo took off his shirt,
Heero grabbed for the skirt.
Duo slapped him and screeched, "Don't get fresh!"

~*~

For Simon:

QUATRE POSES FOR PICTURES...

Quatre's goal is to know sudden fame.
He wants everyone to know his name.
Dressed as a buttercup
In a giant teacup,
He puts Anne Geddes babies to shame.



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Title:  Yet More Limericks
Category:  Humor
Warnings: Yaoi (is this warning even _necessary_ for anything I write?),
2x1 (again, I'm wondering if this warning is necessary) and 13x5.  Mild
swearing.  I strongly encourage small children to read it.  (<--sarcasm,
of course)
Author's notes:  Well folks, I've been writing limericks again!  Prepare
yourselves to be scarred for life!  ^_^  I showed these to a friend
during my free period today, and she said I was a genius.  I told her,
"I'm just a pervert who rhymes."  I hope you like them as much as she
did!  The first one is one I wrote for my beta reader, Raya (who
absolutely rocks).  She likes 13x5, so if you're not into that, steer
clear!  The other two are just sort of random 2x1-ness.  Again, if you
don't like, don't read.  It doesn't get much simpler than that.

~*~

The boy challenged him to a duel.
Kushrenada tried not to drool.
"Let's not fight. Instead,
I will give you head
And hear you make passionate mewls."

~*~

Duo chased after his beau
While waving around a dildo.
"Just try it and see
How good it will be!"
"I'm too sore, you kinky nympho!"

~*~

Duo was pitching a fit.
"For the last time, I am not a chick!
Furthermore, I'm no slut,
And I don't take it up the butt!
...Damn you all, Heero's _my_ bitch!"



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Title:  untitled 1+2 limerick
Category:  Humor
Warnings: 1+2.  I use the f-word and mention oral sex.
Author's notes:  I was bored during my free period today, and the library
(which is where I spend my free period) has a rhyme dictionary...  and we
all know that pulsar + boredom + free time + rhyming = hentai-ness.

~*~

Heero wanted to fuck.
On Duo he wanted to suck.
But the tactician
Was out on a mission
So Heero hit Wing's self-destruct.



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Title:  Untitled limerick
Warnings:  guy + bishie, I use the f-word (hmm, noticing a pattern in my
writing?)
Notes:  based on a conversation that took place in German class.  I was
playing with my GW cards during the break and...  well, you'll see... 
Dedicated to boys who can't recognize an effeminate male when they see
one.

~*~

When I'm bored I like to try
To make guys say bishies are fly.
The boys were all suckers,
Said, "I'd like to fuck her."
I'm sorry, but that girl's a guy.



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Title:  untitled 1x2 limerick
Category:  Humor
Warnings: 1x2.  A bit limey.  I'd keep small children away from it. 
(Actually, I'd keep small children away from everything I've had anything
to do with!)
Author's notes:  This is for everyone who said they liked my poetry! 
(riizu, Mairead, Ais, bow_ryu, and Nazarri.  If I've forgotten anyone,
I'm really sorry!)  This is also for Simon, who is not on this list.  And
I'd like to dedicate it to Ais, who said she'd be interested in some
naughty limericks.  Hope this meets with your approval!

~*~

Duo is tired of just flirting
To have sex with Heero he's yearning.
Now spread like a whore,
He cries out for more...
Tomorrow his butt will be hurting.



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So didja like?

-pulsar