Author:  pulsar (pulsar03@juno.com)
Title:  Fun With Post-it Notes
Category:  Humor
Warnings: Yaoi (specifically 1x2), Wufei-tormenting, jokingly 2+5
Archive:  This is the first GW fic I've ever shown anyone other than my
beta reader, so I currently have no GW fics anywhere on the internet.  My
other fics (and eventually my GW ones) can be found at The Yaoi
Collection (www.yaoicollection.com) under the name Pulsar.  If anyone
wants to archive my stuff, just ask me.
Disclaimer:  GW is not mine.  Neither are Post-it notes.  Or just about
anything.
Author's notes are at end.
*word* = italicized




        Wufei fell to the ground. A weight pressed into the small of his
back held him there. He thrashed around, trying to dislodge the burden.

        "Dammit, Maxwell!!!" he swore. "Get the hell off me!!!"

        Duo tilted his head to the side, mimicking pondering. "Hmm… 
Nope!"

        Wufei swore some more. Duo grinned and proceeded to tickle him
mercilessly. Wufei tried to squirm, but Maxwell’s talented fingers could
not be dissuaded.

        "ENOUGH, MAXWELL!!!" Wufei roared, moving so quickly Bruce Lee
himself would be impressed. (1) His abrupt forcefulness took Duo off
guard and he ended up sprawled on the ground. Wufei stood and glared down
at him. "No more glomping. *Ever.* Got it?"

        Duo gave Wufei his best charming grin and winked. "Okay. Is
boinking out of the question?"

        Wufei somehow managed to look enraged and shocked at the same
time. His mouth opened and closed several times, trying to form a
response. Duo grinned at him, waggling his eyebrows in an extremely
hentai manner.  Wufei, still trying to respond, could only answer with an
affronted squeak. He stormed away. Duo chuckled to himself, eyeing the
sign he had placed on his fellow soldier’s back.

        "Oh man," he thought to himself. "His reaction to the glomping
was good enough, but just think what he’ll be like when he finds out I
got a ‘Kick Me’ sign on him without him noticing!" He laughed out loud.

        Later, when Wufei removed his clothes to shower, he noticed a
yellow Post-it note stuck to the back of his shirt. "What the heck?" he
muttered. Picking up the paper and reading it, his confusion turned to
anger. He crumpled the note in his fist. "Maxwell," he ground out as if
it were a curse.

        Duo chuckled to himself again as he thought of his wonderful
trick. Heero turned away from the laptop to look at him. Duo rolled his
eyes.

        "Am I disturbing you?"

        "Yes. Take your gleeful giggling elsewhere."

        Duo jokingly stuck out his tongue at Heero and left their room. 
"Giggling…" he muttered. "Any fool could tell you that was a chuckle."

        "…Which explains why *you* know what it is," Wufei deadpanned.

        Duo made a face at him.

        "Nice face."

        "Thanks. Nice towel." Duo gave him a hungry once-over. "In fact…"

        Wufei went to his room and locked the door, lest Duo follow him. 
Not as if anything so simple as a lock could keep him out, but it would
at least slow him down a bit. Enough for Wufei to hurriedly dress and
prepare for his revenge. Wufei grinned. "Two can play your games,
Maxwell. And justice will be sweet indeed…"

        Duo considered following Wufei, but his instinct to eat won out
over his instinct to torture his fellow pilot.

        Meanwhile, Heero was characteristically busy on his laptop,
typing up yet another mission report. Suddenly his document disappeared
and his screen was filled with the image of J. Heero immediately sat up
straighter, anticipating orders.

        "01," J addressed him, "I am currently unable to secure a line,
but I have an important… *message* to give you. I will find another way
to deliver it so that it will not be intercepted."

        Heero nodded and the transmission ended. He opened his document
file again and resumed his report. "Might as well finish this while I
await my new orders," he thought to himself.

        Wufei summoned all his powers of stealth as he crept up on the
unsuspecting braided boy currently rummaging around in the fridge. 
Gently, he placed the yellow paper on his back, precisely on Duo’s left
shoulder blade. "There!" he thought proudly. "On his shoulder blade, it
won’t be obstructed by his silly braid, *and* he won’t realize it’s
there." Silently, he crept back to his room.

        Oblivious, Duo selected about half of the fridge’s contents and
set them
on the counter, proceeding to make a sandwich out of them. "Yes, we have
real mayonnaise!!" he celebrated mentally. "None of that pansy-ass
calorie free crap Quatre buys. Not like he couldn’t use some calories
anyway…" Duo slathered the mayo on both slices of bread. "Actually, Q
probably just buys the calorie free crap ‘cause the label’s pink…" (2) 
Duo snickered at the thought. Finishing his sandwich, he headed back to
the room.

        Heero had just finished sending in his report when Duo entered
the room.  "How’s it hangin’, Heero?" Heero quirked an eyebrow at Duo.
Duo rolled his eyes. "Forget it. Any new missions?"

        "I’m waiting to receive one. J contacted me, but he couldn’t get
a secure link. He said he’d send me the mission another way."

        Duo nodded. "How?" he asked, turning to pull down his bedsheets.

        Heero turned around to face Duo. "I don’t know, he…" Heero
trailed off, noticing the note on Duo’s shoulder. He stood and silently
walked to Duo, getting closer to read the note. His eyes widened
considerably. "This is my mission?" he whispered.

        "What?" Duo asked, turning around. "Aaah!" he yelped. "Don’t
stand so close to me, Heero! You scared me!"

        Heero opened his mouth to apologize, but "Ninmu ryokai" came out
instead of his intended ‘I’m sorry.’

        Duo looked confused. Heero was a bit surprised as well. "I
accepted the mission?" He looked at Duo, pondering his sudden choice to
accept the mission. "Well, I said I’d accept the mission. I can’t back
out…"

        "What? What mission? Mmmph!" Duo’s eyes shot wide open as Heero
kissed him. All the protests Duo began to utter were cut off by Heero’s
insistent lips. After a few moments, his protests became more
halfhearted, and after a few more, his protests were nonexistent.

        As he lowered Duo onto the bed, Heero smiled against the other
boy’s lips. "Who ever would have thought I’d end up with an enjoyable
mission?…"

        A few minutes later, clothing began to litter the floor. As a
black priest’s shirt landed, a yellow slip of paper separated from it and
landed on the ground. Two words were written on it….

        "RAVISH ME"



(1)  Bruce Lee used to move so fast, they'd have to slow the movie down
so people could see his moves.

(2) It's true!  My friend's mom will only buy the calorie free kind, and
the label is pink!

Notes:  This fic was beta read by my wonderful lil Rayamon!  This was
inspired by a fic based on Cruel Intentions.  I read it at
http://www.geocities.com/aishiteru_1x2/atsui/atsui.html if anyone wants
to read
it.  It was good.  I forget who wrote it, though.... Gomen to the author.
 Anyway, in the fic (don't worry, I won't give away the plot!  This is
just necesary background as to where the inspiration came from!), Duo is
a virgin and Heero is the guy who tries to seduce him.  Duo writes an
article on why he's staying a virgin 'till he's married, and Heero thinks
to himself something along the lines of:  Anyone that good looking who
writes this is practically screaming, "Come ravish me!" to the world. 
I'm paraphrasing, but that's pretty much the gist of it, and I was struck
by the idea....  So whaddya think?  I love comments on my work!

And on a related note, Post-it notes really can be fun!  Last year, on
the last full day of school (we have half days the last two days), some
of my friends and I dressed as anime characters.  I went as Wufei and I
put Post-its on everyone!  They said stuff like, "I have no sense of
justice!" "I am weak because I am a woman!" and stuff like that.  My
personal favorite, however, was the one I stuck on my butt:  "Property of
Trieze Kushrenada".  My otaku friends thought it was hillarious, and
everyone else thought I was insane.  Well, they think that anyway... not
that they're wrong... ^_^