Author's note:  Okay, one of my teachers was talking about groundhog day
and he was telling us all about it and he mentioned something about
Punxatawnee (I have no idea how to spell that) Phil needing to be
sedated.  Being the semi-psycho that I am, of course, I thought, "What
would happen if he wasn't sedated?  He'd probably attack them!  That'd be
funny!" and then I thought, "What if he attacked Jun?  That'd be even
better!".  And thus, my fic was born.  If you think about it too much,
(like, "Why is going to Pennsylvania a romantic getaway?  Why didn't
Yamato and Taichi try to go somewhere that's actually romantic?") it
makes no sense, so just read it quickly, don't think about it, and have a
few laughs at Jun's expense.  This has nothing to do with my other taito
(Which I'm still working on.  I'll have more out soon, I promise!).  As
always, I LOVE feedback!

Disclaimer:  Digimon is not mine.  Punxatawnee Phil is not mine.  Blah,
blah, blah.


Why I Like Punxatawnee Phil So Very, Very Much
a Taito/Jun-deathfic by pulsar




“This is so exciting!” squeals Jun Motomiya.

“It’s a rodent,” mutters Yamato Ishida.

“I’ve always wanted to see Punxatawnee Phil!  He’s so cute!”

“You think everything’s cute,” he mumbles as she drags him closer to the
platform.

“I’m so glad you invited me!”

“You invited yourself!  I invited Taichi...”  He thinks of his lover,
stuck back in Odaiba because Jun took his plane ticket.  Yamato sighs. 
“I can’t believe she blackmailed her way into our romantic getaway...  If
only she hadn’t taken those pictures of me and Taichi...” he thinks. 
“Well, that’ll teach us to shut the blinds... And at least I got them
from her now...”  His hand moves to his coat pocket, reaching for the
concealed package.  Once assured the photos are still in his possession,
he sighs in relief.  “Hope I don’t lose these...  I’d hate to be
blackmailed twice over the same thing...”

Jun, oblivious as usual, isn’t listening to him.  She drags him to the
platform, hoping to get an up-front view of the famous groundhog.  She
pushes their way to the front.  She and Yamato are right up against the
small outdoor stage.

“Oooh, I can’t wait until he come out!” she squeals with excitement. 
Yamato eavesdrops on the conversations taking place around them, praying
he’ll hear something more interesting than Jun’s babbling.

“Hey, Bob!” a man on the stage calls to another worker beside the
platform.  “You sedate Phil yet?”

The worker smack his head.  “Knew I forgot something!  I’ll go get the
sedative!”

“An unsedated animal just being woken up...” Yamato thinks.  “It’ll
probably be angry... Hope he doesn’t attack the handler...”

The worker runs back and hands the man onstage a hypodermic needle.  The
man goes around to the back of Phil’s box.  Jun sees the needle.

“No!” she screams.  “Leave Phil alone, you monster!”  She rushes onto the
stage and throws the man into the crowd.  Before anyone can stop her, she
flings open the cage and reaches in to pull out Phil.  “It’s okay.  Jun’s
here now.  You’re safe from the bad man...  AAAAH!”  Jun withdraws her
hand, which is now bleeding profusely due to a well-executed chomp from
Phil.

Phil, rudely awakened and unsedated, is very angry.  He attacks Jun,
going for the jugular.  She shows valiant effort, but the furry little
rodent is out for blood and his fury proves too much for the skank to
handle.  As the crowd looks on in horror, Punxatawnee Phil rips out Jun
Motomiya’s throat.

Yamato, being in the front, ends up drenched in her blood.  The crowd
goes into panic mode and everyone screams and runs.  Yamato tries to run,
but is knocked down.  He keeps trying to get up, but the blood makes
everything slippery and his shoes can’t get a firm enough grip on the
ground.  Suddenly, someone grabs his arm and hoists him to his feet.

“Hey.  Long time, no see.”

“Taichi!”

Yamato’s lover grins.  “I caught the red-eye last night.  Didn’t get here
till just now.”  Taichi looks at Yamato’s blood-soaked clothing.  “C’mon.
 Let’s get you to the hotel.  You could use a shower.”

Yamato wipes his bloody hand on Taichi’s face.  “So could you...”

Taichi catches on and grins.  “But the hotel room only has one shower...
We’ll have to share....”

Yamato wraps an arm around Taichi’s waist.  “And to think.... I never
used to like Groundhog day...”