Title: No. Author: The Faceless Evil E-mail address: TheFacelessEvil@AOL.com Website: committed.to/thefacelessevil/ Warnings: Shounen Ai, Langauge, Angst, Death Show/Video Game: Rurouni Kenshin Couple: Saitou/Sanosuke Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Thanks for creating 'em. Author's Note: This is based waaaaaaaay after everything, 'n stuff. My first Rurouni Kenshin fanfic that I was afraid to write because I don't feel I know enough about the characters. Oh well, I did it anyway because I was issued a challenge. I know how much my fans love depression and angst, so enjoy. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- No. "Ashes to ashes." No. "Dust to dust." This isn't happening. "We honor this man," Stop. "Saitou Hajime," Please stop. "By carrying out his wishes. To be sent on his journey, and scattered to the four winds." Please, don't do this. Don't take him from me. "Above his beloved Home, Japan. Sanosuke Sagara, his wish was for you to release him." I don't want to, no, this can't be happening. "Sanosuke?" I don't believe it. I REFUSE TO!!! "Sanosuke!" * * * It was torture to struggle for that heaving gasp of air. Drenched with sweat, shuddering, he leaned against the strong arms that held him. "Jime..." "Sanosuke..." He felt tears sliding down his damp cheeks, reality not yet shattering his dark dream world. He clutched onto the other man, sobbing against his bare chest uncontrollably, until dreamless slumber overtook him. * * * The next morning felt as though a dark cloud was above them. They ate breakfast together, in silence. Sanosuke resembled somebody who had challenged the Wolf of Mibu to a fist fight until sun down; Dark circles underneath his eyes, hair splayed in all directions, body hunched against the table in a worn position. Saitou looked aged even more so than he was, with his concern for his sleepless lover. This wasn't the first time this had happened, apparently Sanosuke had been having these disturbing dreams for weeks now. Ever since Saitou's dry coughing had gotten worse. No matter how much he tried to hide it, his love could always sense something was wrong with him. 'Aged' The younger man thought in his depression, picking at his rice. 'I never really thought about our age difference, before. He's nearly twenty years older than I am...' "Rooster..." 'We've been together for nearly that long, that would make him...' "Rooster!" Sanosuke broke out his silence with a shocked exclamation, "You're fifty!" Saitou's face fell to that familiar, stern chill that he was famous for. "What a startling observation moron. No, I'm fifty-four." "Fifty-four!?" The so-called rooster dropped his chopsticks, and blatantly stared. "Why didn't you tell me that?!" The older man's eyebrow rose very slowly. "Why would I?" Sanosuke ignored that, and pressed further. "Why aren't you retired yet?!" "I am not that old." The tanned man pressed his palm to the western-style table, and leaned forward. "Yes, you are! You shouldn't smoke either!" "Moron..." "You should eat more, and stop straining yourself!" "Moron!" Saitou frowned briefly, quite insulted at all the comments on his age and habits. "Is this about your dreams?" That lithe body settled back down in his chair, chocolate colored brows furrowing. "You've been coughing a lot lately, Jime..." The Wolf sighed, and closed his eyes. Spidery bangs of black and silver hung over his face, making his solemn features seem sharp. "Eat properly..." "Jime..." "Live stress absolved..." "Jime, please..." "You could be the healthiest man in the World. Even the strongest die." "I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!" Piercing golden-yellow met soulful mahogany. They stared at each other for quite some time, until Saitou rose to his feet. He stepped to his lover, and sternly grasped his chin. Sanosuke didn't struggle, instead he waited for the gentle kiss, and sighed when he received it. "I am going to work. You should do the same." That hand drifted away, as the officer went to the door. Sanosuke twisted around in his chair, face distorted with worry. "Promise me you won't die." Saitou slowly slipped on his police hat, and gave his love a parting glance. "I refuse to lie to you." When he left, a horrible feeling settled over Sanosuke that caught his breath. He buried his face into his arms, and shook. * * * Saitou Hajime, Chief of the Tokyo Police force, sat at his desk and mulled over this mornings events. 'Sanosuke has never been so worried before...' He avoided the paperwork for now, he didn't feel like working. There was too much on his mind, and no doubt there would be another letter there asking him to become a politician. His gaze instead, wandered to the pictures that were framed on top of his desk. Saitou, estimated to be around twenty-seven, and his wife, Tokio. Standing proudly together, hand in hand. Saitou, estimated to be around thirty-six, holding his young lover Sanosuke, from behind. The Rooster looked as frightened as a mouse in the jaws of a cat. Saitou, estimated to be around forty, standing with the rest of his family. Tokio, and his adopted son. Saitou, estimated to be around forty-eight, dancing with his son's new bride at their wedding. Also in the picture were Sanosuke and Tokio dancing together, the young rooster trying to duck to avoid the camera, while Tokio laughed. 'I have not changed much.' Those pictures made him grateful he had such a sensible wife, most women would have turned him away knowing he had a lover. Their love was never a romantic one, so Tokio deemed it only common sense that Saitou would seek romance elsewhere. She would never abandon his house because of that. He smiled slightly, out of pure habit, he withdrew a cigarette from his pocket, and placed it between his lips. 'You've been coughing a lot lately, Jime...' That soft, concerned voice drifted into his mind. It reminded him of the coughing attacks, the ones so severe that he would choke on blood. He was accepting of death, being at peace with himself. He never had thought he would die of an illness, however. He thought of who would miss him. Tokio, no doubt. She would not react violently, but she would mourn as a sister would mourn her brother. His son would certainly not mourn long, considering he was full grown with a new life. He was more attached to Tokio, than to the man whom he barely saw. The only one who he could imagine to react severely would be his life-mate, his beloved Sanosuke. He exhaled smoke after lighting his cigarette, and held it between his gloved fingers. "Silly rooster," He chuckled to himself, and snuffed the ashen stick into a glass tray. "I will live longer for you." He stood, and pulled the pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He stopped to watch it drop from his hand, and into the wicker trash container. That strong declaration to himself was soon followed by his vision swirling, and blurring. He blacked out as it felt like the World had crashed onto his shoulders. * * * 'Why am I worried so much?' Sanosuke snorted to himself, watching children play in the grassy field in front of the school. Breathing in that sweet spring air, he turned his eyes up towards the cloudy sky. 'He wouldn't die even if somebody killed him. That jerk always lives, damn him for getting me all emotional.' He stood up, and waved his unbandaged hand to the kids. "Oi! It looks like rain! Lets all get back inside, and start learning like we're supposed to!" He smirked as the children laughed and ran, to gather around him. He had been teaching for over ten years, and he never got tired of seeing those smiling faces. It was worth all of those long nights being educated by Saitou, enough to go to school himself to be a teacher. On that day of acceptance, he felt so accomplished and proud. As if he had suddenly gained a meaning and purpose to his life that he never had possessed before. He knew he owed so much to Saitou for helping, sometimes violently, to push him in the right direction. He didn't know what he would've done if he... "Mister Sagara!" A voice broke his thoughts, it was not a voice of his children. Instead, it was of a Police Officer who was rushing towards them. His heart sped up unnaturally with fear. "W-What? What is it?!" "Chief Hajime has just collapsed! He is in the hospital! Please come with me!" Sanosuke's entire body quaked as a cold sweat ran down him. "Oh, God..." As if possessed by a demon, he did not wait for the officer to start running with him. Instead, he burst with adrenaline, running as fast as he could to the hospital building. Even though he arrived in less then five minutes, he felt as though it was hours. He didn't realize he was crying until he tried to speak to the single nurse in the front room, a salty flavor entering his mouth. "S-Saitou Hajime.. w-where..." "I-In that room, but--" He didn't stop to listen. He ran to the second room, and pulled open the paper door. There he saw the back of the doctor, kneeling at the side of the bed that carried the stationary form of his lover. He fell on his knees beside the shocked woman, and grasped one of the Wolf's gloved hands. "Sanosuke..." She began, but he interrupted, his voice saturated with sorrow. "I-It's his cough, i-isn't it..." She placed a hand on Sanosuke's shoulder, "He's strong, he should-" "GOD DAMNIT Megumi, DON'T lie to me! D-Don't..." His head fell to bury his face into Saitou's chest. Barely hearing a heartbeat, only strained breathing. He could never imagine his lover like this. He was such a strong man, how could he die from something like this? "Y-Your going to die, a-aren't you. Y.. Your going to leave me. G-Goddamned you, fucking bastard.. don't leave me! Oh please, oh God, please don't...." The room fell dark as the rain began to fall. All Sanosuke could hear was that slowing heartbeat. When gloved digits curled around his fingers, he lifted his head to stare at those slitted golden eyes. Not a word was spoken as their lips met, melting against one another in devotion, adoration, and a stinging sorrow that refused to fade. The younger man pressed his forehead to Saitou's, tears dropping from his cheeks, to slide down the pale one's beneath him. When his eyes closed, he did not see when the Wolf's did the same, he could only hear that heartbeat as it slowly came to a halt. Agonizing silence to be replaced only by the sound of the cold rain. No. ~ The End. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Ending Author's Note: Time to commit suicide now. I rather like the idea of Saitou dying a much braver death then that, I could NEVER see him as the type to lie down and take it by a sickness. However, I chose this ending, because well, it's more depressing. Yes, I know I'm evil.